Crash and Burn
by DigDeeper
Summary: Something is wrong with Cameron. Can House help her through it or will she be lost? Better than it sounds.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: No, I don't own House or anything to do with them, but I am borrowing them for just little while.

_Crash and Burn_

He had notice little changes in her. The circles under her eyes were a little darker, her hair a little limper, her frame a little smaller. He blamed it on the ER. Pulling double shifts all the time had to be taking its toll on her. Throw in the fact that she had broken up with the wombat (he had heard through the hospital gossip) and he figured all the little changes were justified.

So here he was with his feet propped up on his desk, The Cure playing through his ear buds when Cuddy came frantically clicking into his office.

"Cuddles! To what do I owe this…" He began before getting cut off.

"House, its Cameron." She told him.

House was up out of his chair and heading to the ER quicker than Cuddy thought he was capable of.

Once he was in the ER his eyes immediately fell on his former Duckling, crouched in a corner knees drawn up to her chest. Her hair was disheveled, her face pale, eyes reddened with tears flowing out of them. There was a nurse crouched next to her trying to snap her out of whatever had gotten her so upset. People were in a tizzy trying to get the sweet Dr. Cameron to tell them what was wrong. He pushed through the crowd, hitting a couple people with his cane and slowly lowered himself to the floor next to his Cameron. Yes, his Cameron. She was shaking hard, her breathing rapid.

"Cameron look at me." He pleaded with her. Her eyes darted back and forth like she was having trouble focusing. "Cameron! Come on, look at me."

Her eyes made their way to his.

"House" was all she managed to say to him.

His heart broke. The sound of his name came out of her mouth like a plea for help.

"Are you hurt?" He asked and she shook her head rapidly "no".

"Do you feel sick?" Her head nodded yes.

"Okay, let me check you out. Can you stand up?" She nodded yes.

House heaved himself up off the floor and reached his hand down to assist Cameron. She stood shaking for a moment before her knees buckled and House had to catch her awkwardly. He shuffled slowly and helped her onto a gurney and proceeded to examine her. First thing he noticed was her pulse. It as rapid, 120 resting heart rate. Next thing was she was sweaty and clammy. He was starting to put the pieces together in his head. She was lying with her eyes clenched shut, arms clutched around herself. "Are you nauseous?" He asked. She nodded yes.

"Are you able to sleep?" She shook her head no.

"Are you having panic attacks?"

At this her eyes shot open. Her eyes filled with tears.

"I want to go home." She whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews and the support! Hope you enjoy this chapter! As always, I don't own House or anything as profitable as it._

House had secured her into the passenger seat of his 'vett, taking care to fasten the seatbelt around her. There hadn't been a question of whether or not he would take her home. Cuddy hadn't even questioned it. As soon as House told her he was taking Cameron home and not to expect either of them for a few days she accepted it. It was rare for House to show _true_ concern for anyone. So here he was driving through the streets of Princeton, his eyes looking over to his fragile passenger every few seconds. Her body was clenched tightly, her arms hugging herself protectively. Her eyes darting back and forth over the scenery passing by thru the window.

"Are you hungry? We should stop and pick some stuff up from the store." He asked her.

"No. I just want to go home."

"I understand that Cameron, but you have to eat. We'll just stop for a minute."

"Just take me home!" Cameron screamed at him. "Please, just take me home." She began to cry and rock herself back and forth in her seat.

House shook his head. He didn't know what to say or what to do. Cameron, a pillar of strength, comfort and goodness was cracking right in front of him. No, she wasn't cracking. The cracks had already been there. It made sense now. The dark circles under her eyes, the weight lose. No, she wasn't cracking in front of him. She was crumbling.

They arrived at her apartment shortly after this realization. Cameron went straight to her bedroom and shut the door. House took in the mess in front of him. He knew Cam was normally a neat freak so the sight of her apartment in shambles was a shock. Clothes thrown haphazardly everywhere, cans of Coke, Beer and bottled water sitting on the tables. An ashtray with several burned out cigarettes sat on one of the end tables. Going into the kitchen he groaned noticing the absence of anything resembling real food. A couple of packages of Ramon Noodles was the only thing he thought he might be able to stomach. Looking in the refrigerator he saw a 12 pack of Blue Moon beer, a 6 pack of jell-o and a ½ gallon of milk that was curdled. His nose wrinkled. This was worse than his apartment. He moved back into the living room and shifted the pillows and blankets around on the couch so he could sit. He hoisted his leg up on the coffee table and took his pills out of his coat pocket shaking 2 into his hand and popping them into his mouth. He heard Cameron shuffling out of her bedroom. He looked up to find her in pajamas and fuzzy pink slippers. Her hair was in a messy pony tail on top of her head, her eyes still red, mascara streaks down her cheeks.

"You can leave now." She told him.

"No can do. Having a nervous break down in the ER pretty much solidified my presence in your life for awhile."

"I'm fine House."

"Yeah, I can tell that by the mascara dripping off your cheeks. Tell me something, how long has it been since you slept in your bed?"

"Excuse me?" She said caught off guard.

"How long has it been since you slept in your bed? It's been awhile, huh?"

"How do you know that?" Cameron replied getting immediately defensive.

"Well, you have pillows, bed pillows piled on you're couch. And this comforter, I don't think you put it out here because it matches the décor."

She shook her head and padded into the kitchen. She returned a few moments later with a beer in hand. She reached over him and grabbed the ash tray and lit a cigarette. Tears sprung into her eyes and started rolling down her cheek.

"I can't do this right now House. I just can't. Please leave and don't come back." Her words were broken up by gasps as she tried to pull herself together.

"I'm not leaving Cam. You're my little Care Bear and right now my Care Bear is coming unglued and I want to know why."

Cameron chuckled low in her throat. "You think I'm a Care Bear? You think that's all there is to me? You're wrong House. You're so wrong. You have no idea who I am or what I've been through. You don't know!" She was squalling hysterically now.

House didn't know what to do so he did the last thing he ever thought he was capable of. He gathered him into her arms and held her. He held her close while she sobbed a solid 20 minutes. He kissed the crown of her head when her sobs began to settle.

"I think I'm going crazy." She whispered to him.

He sat quietly waiting for her to continue.

"It's been a month. A month since I slept in my bed."

_The reviews inspired me to update sooner than planned! So who has the ddx on Cameron? Here's a hint. She wasn't raped or physically harmed. Who has an idea?_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Wow! I can't believe how well this has been received! Thank you so much for all your comments and ddx's! Some of you are kind of close on what's going on with Cameron. So now, back to it!!_

"_**It's been a month. A month since I slept in my bed."**_

He looked at her quizzically not sure whether or not to speak or to let her continue. She made the decision for him.

"I don't know what happened but one night I was lying in my bed and my head was just spinning. 'Did I do the right thing for that patient? Did I pay that bill? Did I lock the apartment door?' It just kept going and going. So I got out of bed and went to check the door. Then I couldn't go back to my room. All the sudden the walls seemed to be closing in on me. So I opened the patio door and fell asleep on the couch. That's how I sleep every night now. I have to be able to see the door open to the outside or I start to panic."

"Cameron, you do realize that it's 30 degrees outside don't you?" House asked quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I do. I just don't care. I can't be closed in. I'd rather freeze. I'd rather die."

At this statement she began to shake. Her eyes clenched shut. She didn't want to open up to House, not like this.

House laid her back on the couch and gathered the comforter around her. Tucking her in, he whispered to her "Sleep" and walked out into her kitchen. He heard her whimper and call out to him.

"House, open the patio door please." So he did, the brisk New Jersey air hitting him like a sledge hammer. He walked back into the kitchen and grabbed himself a beer. He didn't know what else to do. So he did what he always did when he was stuck. He called Wilson.

"House? What's going on with Cameron? The rumor mill is really spinning here."

"I'm not sure." House told Wilson honestly. "I need you to do a couple things for me. Actually it's for Cameron."

"Of course. What do you need me to do?"

Forty-Five minutes later Wilson was at Cameron's door. House opened it before he had the chance to knock.

"Shhhh, she's asleep and I'd like to keep it that way." House warned.

Wilson walked quietly into the apartment and shivered. "It's freezing in here!" He whispered.

"She won't sleep with the door closed. I don't know. I think she's had a breakdown, I just don't know why." House whispered back. He was watching her closely noticing how she was restlessly napping. He doubted she was getting any kind of decent sleep. She tossed, turned and whimpered continuously. Shaking himself out of his observation he turned to Wilson. "Did you bring what I asked for?"

Wilson handed him a brown paper bag. "Everything is in there. I hope you know what you're doing House. If she's cracking up she might need to be in the hospital."

"I know that!" House snapped back. "I just, I don't know. This is Cameron! I can't just shackle her to a bed in the psych unit."

"Need anything else?" Wilson asked.

"Nope. Just keep your phone on. I might need you later."

Cameron jolted out of her restless sleep. She was sweating, her heart was pounding and her vision was blurry. She shook her head trying to shake away her panic but as usual it didn't work. She couldn't remember how she got here, how she got home. He head started spinning faster. She felt out of control. Then she heard his voice through the fog.

"Cameron!" She looked up at him and let out the breath she was holding. She remembered now.

"Can I close the patio door now please? I think my sperm are frozen."

She nodded her head and followed his form as he limped back and stood over her.

"How long have you been having these attacks?" He asked sitting down on the coffee table so he could face her.

"They've been bad for about a month now." She answered him shakily. "But I started having little ones about 3 months ago."

"What happened 3 months ago?" He asked.

She looked up at him, her eyes sad and distant.

"I tried to get better." She whispered.

_A/N: Okay, any guesses??_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Ya'll are freakin amazing with your ideas! And you're reviews! Thanks so much again! I get all motivated when I hear from you and know that you're enjoying the story!!_

_So, enjoy!!_

"_**I tried to get better." She whispered.**_

"What do you mean you tried to get better? What was wrong with you?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Why are you still here? I thought I asked you to leave." She stood up and started pacing, back and forth, back and forth across the living room. House felt like he was going to puke from watching her. She turned towards the patio and opened the door. The chill from the air swam thru the apartment and House shivered. Damn it. Couldn't she let him be warm for five minutes? At this rate they were both going to have pneumonia.

"Cam, I'm closing the door. You're going to make us sick. It's a wonder you haven't come down with the flu or pneumonia or some other ungodly sickness."

"Please House, no! Don't! You don't understand what it's like to be closed in, not to be able to get away! Please don't!" She sat on the floor and wailed, knees to her chest rocking back and forth like she had in the ER earlier.

"Okay, okay, shhhhhh." He comforted her. He sat down on the floor for the second time that day and pulled her to him. "I'll keep it open, I promise."

His leg started screaming at him. Everything in him wanted to stay on that floor with her but he couldn't.

"I have to stand up. You can stay down here or you can get up with me. I'd prefer you get up with me so I can use you as my very own living breathing cane." He had hoped to get a snicker or a smirk out of her but didn't. Her face stayed the same as she stood and helped him to his feet. Her whole body was trembling and the sweat was dripping down her forehead.

"Are you hungry?" He asked. "Cause Wilson brought over a slew of food. There's soup, there's frozen pizza, and there's some fruit. Come on, try and eat something."

Cameron's head dropped down and looked at her feet. "I can't eat. Every time I try I throw up."

"And being a doctor I've never seen vomit before. Boy Wonder also brought me some extra clothes so if you happen to spew all over me it'll be okay. You need to eat. I can tell you've lost more weight than is healthy for you. Actually any weight you lose is unhealthy for you. You're a twig. I'm making you some soup." With that he went into the kitchen and started banging around in her cabinets.

Cameron sat back down on the sofa. She wrapped herself in her warm down comforter and sighed. She wanted this to stop. She thought it had. If only she could open up and tell him. Tell him how she came to be like this. It was really a stupid story. No one would think one little rough patch in life could damage a person this much. But really if she thought about it, it wasn't one rough patch, it was several. Several horrible little moments that weaved together making her into the horrible mess, the horrible person she had become.

_A/N: Just so you know, this is going to be a long story. Hope ya'll can hang in with me._


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: So here's chapter 5. Hope it lives up to everyone's expectations!_

Cameron heaved the little bit of soup she had eaten into the toilet. House sat on the edge of the bath tub next to her holding her hair back. He had hoped that a little bit of chicken broth wouldn't hurt her but here she was, lying over the porcelain goddess as her body rejected the little bit of substance she had taken in. This was getting ridiculous. He wiped her brow with a cool clothe when her body quit retching.

"Come on, let's get you situated on the couch." He told her. She followed him slowly grabbing onto the furniture to help keep her balance.

"Here," he said reaching into his "bag of goodies" and pulling out a bottle of pills. "Take one of these. It will help you rest."

She eyed the pills wearily. "What are they?"

"Xanax. Will help calm you down and maybe you can get some sleep."

"I don't want any drugs. I'm fine."

House was starting to get frustrated and angry. "Okay, look, I know that you cover up your emotions by saying "I'm fine" but you can't fool me. You are not okay. You are not fine. You need to take this damn pill and get some rest. If you don't take it, I'll inject you with some Ativan that Wilson also brought. Your choice."

Cameron snarled at him but took the pill and settled into the couch. Within half an hour she was sleeping, fitfully, but sleeping nonetheless.

This was his chance to snoop. He started in the bedroom. Nothing of extreme interest in there. Photos adorned her dresser, one of her late husband, one of her and the other ducklings. One caught his eye of a young Cameron, probably no older than 19, in the embrace of a man he thought must have been her grandfather. The old man had oxygen tubing around his nose and was clearly sick. The look in Cameron's eyes were tired and beaten, almost like they were now. Next was the living room. He padded quietly trying not to wake her. Nothing of importance to be found there either. This was getting tiresome. Last stop the bathroom. The medicine cabinet was what anyone would expect. Toothbrush, mouth wash, tampons, Tylenol. Bending down he opened the bottom cabinet and snickered. Leave it to Cameron to have enough toilet paper stocked up to get them all through Armageddon. Moving the rolls of toilet paper he spotted a medium sized container. Opening the lid his eyes grew wide.

Pills. Pill bottles filled the whole container. Looking at each bottle he found Ativan, Xanax, Paxil, Wellbutron, Zoloft and Lexapro of various milligrams dating back up to 3 years. What the hell was going on with his littlest duckling? Why would she need all this?

"Find anything interesting?" He heard her say from the doorway.

"What is all this?" He asked. "Do you take all this?"

"I have taken all that at one time or another. Trying to find just the right mix, just the right dosage of each to keep me stable."

"Stable with what?"

"That's none of your concern. You were right about one thing House. You said one time that I couldn't be a good person and well adjusted. That's true. You need medication to be able to do that."


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I've had pneumonia, a sinus infection and a double ear infection. So basically I've been dead to the world! That being said I am typing this while I'm on bed rest so this might not be the best update, I'm a little drugged. Don't hold it against me, please! Hope you all like this chapter and THANK YOU so much for the reviews._

"_**You were right about one thing House. You said one time that I couldn't be a good person and well adjusted. That's true. You need medication to be able to do that."**_

House didn't know what to say. He stared at the pill bottles lying in front of him then at his young immunologist who had just shocked the hell out of him by basically admitting she was as much of a pill popper as him.

"How long have you been taking these meds?" He asked her.

Cameron looked at him tiredly. She didn't know if she was ready to have this conversation. She didn't know if she could _trust _him with her past. So she did what she was good at. She walked away. She walked into the living room covering herself in a blanket and lighting a cigarette.

House followed, settling next to her on the couch waiting for her to continue. His eyes bore into her like daggers daring her to try and get out of explaining herself.

"I started taking Prozac for depression when I was 16."

"What happened when you were 16?"

"My parents were killed in a car accident." She said it so matter of fact that House couldn't believe this was the same woman who was crying and shaking so fiercely an hour earlier. "My brother and I went to live with my grandparents. It wasn't so bad, the move I mean. I still went to the same school, had the same friends. I just didn't have my parents anymore. But I had my Grandma and my Papa so I thought I was okay. But I just felt so disconnected. So my doctor put me on the antidepressants."

"Did it help?" House asked feeling like he was finally getting somewhere.

"At the time. I was on those for 2 years then was switched to Paxil. The crack of all antidepressant medication."

"And then what?"

Cameron's eyes narrowed and her face became red. House kicked himself. He shouldn't have said anything.

"And then what? What do you want me to say? I'm not your fucking puzzle. I'm not one of your patients! You don't even LIKE me! Why on earth of all people would I open up to you? Why, in all the time we have known each other are you picking now, when I am hanging on to the edge by my fingernails are YOU trying to dissect me? No, no this is all wrong. You don't get to do this to me. Not now, not ever."

She started pacing, shaking her hands at her sides like they were on fire, head shaking back and forth at an internal conversation she was having with herself.

House sat dumbfounded. She was right. On any other occasion he would be using this situation to put the pieces of his puzzle together, to figure out what made her tick. What made him wince inwardly however was the fact that this had never been about what was making her tick, this was about keeping her functioning. Okay, so that was selfish of him because HE needed her to function. He needed her to snap out of this and keep going. She was scaring the hell out of him. So they hadn't had a real relationship. So there wasn't hand holding and kisses and quiet whispers behind closed doors. But if there was a woman on this earth that he wanted it was Cameron. He wanted to push her away for her own good; hope that she would find someone who could make her happy but inside that thought scared him. She scared him. The way she could get him to take a case just by quirking her eyebrow a certain way, the way she knew exactly how he liked his coffee, the way she caught his cane mid-air without a second thought when he was rushing past her with an epiphany about a diagnosis. And now, he didn't know her. He didn't know this woman in front of him who was angry, agitated and restless. He didn't know this woman who looked like she was looking forward to going and taking a flying leap off the closest sky scrapper. But he wanted to. Not because of the puzzle, but because he wanted her. In his mind he knew now was not the time for romantic confessions, obviously because he didn't do those, but it reaffirmed his belief that he needed to be here to get her through this. He chose his words carefully and spoke softly.

"Allison, this isn't about a puzzle. This is about you. This is about something inside of you that you're not dealing with. This is about getting you to a point where we can talk without you closing off, panicking and then needing to be drugged. This is about watching someone that I do care about, YOU, self destructing."

Her pacing stopped and he stood up next to her. He tentatively put his hands of her shoulders looking down at her drowned out red eyes. And she broke. She sobbed and punched and screamed. Grabbed the lapels of his shirt and yanked. Let out sobs of desperation, depletion, broken, dying tears of grief and lose.

And he was there. Holding onto her with a force he didn't know he possessed until she slowly crumbled to the floor taking him down with her. His thigh throbbed but he barely noticed. This was something. Good or bad he wasn't sure but it was something.

He rocked her back and forth letting her sobs become quick gasps and then slow to quiet whimpers. He kissed the crown of her head and wiped away the tears with his thumb. She was silent for a moment, gathering her strength and her breath. Then she spoke with broken voice.

"And then, House, I married a dying man. And they increased my dosage. And he died and they increased my dosage. Then my brother went into the Army and was sent on 4 tours of Iraq and Afghanistan and they increased my dosage. Then I started working for you and they increased my dosage. And then my worst nightmares came true and there wasn't a dosage big enough for me."

_A/N: Like I said, I know this isn't a great chapter but it's getting us to where we are going. Since I'm on bed rest I'll be able to update more since I'm not allowed to do anything else!! And if Hugh Laurie feels the need to come and nurse me back to health I am in no position to protest it ;)_


	7. Chapter 7

Hi all. Wanted to let you know I have not abandoned this story. When I began this story it was me telling a story about MYSELF in the form of Cameron. It was me trying to come around to what was happening to me at the time. All the events in the story are real (except for the death of my parents. They are still alive and kicking.) Since my last post many things have come to light, as well as the reason behind my (and Cameron's) breakdown. Now that I am getting back on my feet I will be continuing the story. Trust me, it's a turn no one could have foreseen. I hope you will stick with the story, and forgive me for taking so long to update! ~

Hameron Love FOREVER!

_Digdeeper_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! Here is the next chapter. I hope you like it. Thank you for all the reviews!!_

"_And then, House, I married a dying man. And they increased my dosage. And he died and they increased my dosage. Then my brother went into the Army and was sent on 4 tours of Iraq and Afghanistan and they increased my dosage. Then I started working for you and they increased my dosage. And then my worst nightmares came true and there wasn't a dosage big enough for me."_

House didn't know what to say. He had picked and prodded at her for years, trying to figure out what made Cameron, well, Cameron. And here it was, served to him on a chipped silver platter, ready for him to tear apart. He looked at Cameron's sad green eyes. He could see every crack in her soul. Right on the surface he could see a story so hard for her to tell that it scared him to even ask. What was her worst nightmare? What had happened that was so horrible she couldn't speak of it without breaking down? He knew he had to proceed slowly so he decided to stay silent and wait for her to come around and be ready to tell the story. The wait ended up being about 6 weeks long. In those 6 weeks he himself had stayed with her. He had enough vacation time and Cuddy had a vague idea of what was going on and didn't argue with him when he told her he would be back when Cameron was ready to come back as well. Of course House being House couldn't stay completely away from the hospital and his ducklings but would only make an appearance for the most difficult cases and only if Cuddy, Wilson or Foreman would be able to come sit with Cameron. Not Chase. Never the wombat. House knew Cameron wasn't suicidal, but he wasn't comfortable with her being alone. He wanted someone to be there if she needed to break down.

He cooked for Cameron and made sure she ate. He disposed of all her medications so she couldn't mix her meds. He arranged for her to see a psychiatrist who immediately diagnosed her with post traumatic stress disorder and prescribed her a cocktail of medications to help her "even out". He made sure she took the meds correctly. Even so House could tell that Cameron was holding onto life by her finger nails. The panic attacks were still present but he had become aware of the signs of the oncoming attacks and would hurriedly give her a Xanax to hopefully avoid a full blown melt down. She was withdrawn and quiet, silently looking through photo albums or reading her medical textbooks. She never smiled, never laughed, just sat in quiet acceptance that this is what her life had become. And the doors to the patio still stayed open most of the time. So damn cold, but if it kept her happy, he would deal. On her 35th birthday he had, in a very uncharacteristic House move bought her a birthday cake. Her favorite kind, marble cake with raspberry filling and butter cream icing. Don't ask him how he knew her favorite. He doesn't know. He placed the number 3 and number 5 candles on the cake and sat it in front of her on the coffee table. Her eyes flitted from the show she was watching on TV and then grew wide. She looked at him with unshed tears.

"It's my birthday, isn't it?" She asked in a voice so small.

"Yep. Sure is. Now don't get all mushy or think this is something "nice" from me to you. Really this is just an excuse for me to have cake. But yeah, it is your birthday. So, happy birthday Allison."

She stared at the cake and chewed on her lower lip. House put a tentative arm around her shoulders. "Make a wish" he whispered.

One hot large tear rolled down her cheek. She took a deep breath and blew out the candles. She looked at him with remaining tears in her eyes.

"Is this it? Is this what my life has become? I don't even know myself anymore House! I don't feel like myself, the thoughts in my head…they're all wrong! I don't know how to explain it! It's all mashed up!"

He sat rubbing her back. He slowly got up from his spot on the couch and went to his jacket pulling out a small ring box. Returning to her side he handed it to her.

She looked at him with fear in her eyes.

"Don't look at me like that Cameron. I'm not asking you to marry me. Open it."

Inside the ring box she did in fact find a ring. A silver band with engraving circling. The words "Fear Not" blended gracefully into it. Her breath hitched and House took the ring from her. Grabbing her right hand he placed the ring on her finger. "I found this at a Christian bookstore. I know neither one of us is "down" with the guy upstairs but I thought this ring was appropriate. This is my promise to you. It's going to be ok. We are going to get through this, whatever it is, together. I am always going to be here for you. So, yea, fear not. And if you tell anyone I got this sappy I will deny it and you will suddenly disappear from the face of the earth."

Cameron looked at the ring on her finger and all the tears came flooding down her cheeks. She pulled herself into Houses lap and rested her head in the crook of his neck while her legs dangled over the side of the couch.

"Thank you" she whispered.

"Only for you." He responded.

She stayed in that spot for the rest of the night, adjusting when Houses thigh would protest. Falling asleep inhaling his natural smell she tried to put together in her mind how to tell House everything that was swimming around in her head. She stared at the uneaten cake and smirked slightly, knowing that in the morning, that would most likely be what House would serve her for breakfast.


	9. Chapter 9

_I don't own it, I make nothing off of it, I'm just borrowing it. If you sue me, you won't get much!_

House trudged himself into Cameron's apartment several days later. He had been called in on a case and had spent the past 3 days at the hospital while Wilson, Cuddy and Foreman took on "Cameron Duty". Shrugging off his coat he yelled out "Lucy, I'm home". No response. "Cameron!" He yelled out. Nothing. He looked to the big sliding doors that went out to her balcony. He spotted her standing next to the railing, her head tilted to the sky, soaking up the last of the suns rays. He didn't want to disturb her so he quietly made his way to the couch and watched her. She stood there for several more minutes then turned and came inside. Leaving the door open as usual she came and sat next to House.

She focused on her hands and took a deep breath. "I don't like being closed in. It drives me crazy."

House was silent, too scared that interrupting her would shut her down.

"You never met my Grandparents. I would have never let you. You're rude and harsh. They were kind, sweet, Christian people. They looked after me and my brother. Stood by us no matter what. They were so proud of us. 2 years ago my Grandma was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. They gave her 9 months. She made it 10."

His eyebrows shot up. How did he not know this?

"I was living with them and taking care of them. When she died I moved Grandpa here, into the apartment with me. It was hard having him here but I wouldn't trade it for the world. He was my best friend. I would do anything for him."

House thought of the picture of the elderly man and Cameron. That must have been her Grandfather.

"He had emphysema and allergies. He was constantly having trouble breathing. He was on oxygen and every inhaler in the world. We had been to so many specialists just trying to help him breath easier. We could never keep the windows open because the air would cause him to have an asthma attack. We could only be outside long enough to get him to the car because being outside would almost kill him."

House sat stunned. How had he missed this?

"I kind of feel guilty because I moved him here and then had to work all these long hours at the hospital. I hired a really nice woman who was a retired nurse to stay with him during the day and at night when I couldn't make it home. They became great friends. I guess that's a good thing. He had a friend." She sucked in a lung full of air, trying to keep a sob from escaping her. "She called me one day while I was at work and said he was in a lot of pain and his pain pills were not helping to control it. I went home immediately."

She saw realization dawn on him. He remembered that day because it wasn't like her to leave early…ever. She had used the excuse that she wasn't feeling well. He didn't believe her, but they were in the middle of a particularly difficult case, so he just let it go.

"I had her take him to Princeton General where his primary doctor works out of. They did a full body scan because they couldn't figure out what was wrong. It came back lit up like a light bright. He had bone cancer in every bone in his body. The oncologist came in and told me about all the treatments they could do to help put him in remission. It came down to being Grandpa's decision. At that point he wasn't out of his mind yet. He consented to a type of radiation treatment that was still fairly new. He reacted badly to it. It caused him flash pain. It was the most excruciating pain I've ever seen someone in. He was clutching my arms, my hands, my hair, begging me to make the pain stop. I demanded he be put on some sort of pain medication and he was put on diludid. The medication made him crazy. He thought I was a Nazi that I was trying to kill him. At that point I knew decisions were going to have to be made, and he wouldn't be able to make them. That's when I called Cuddy and told her I was having my appendix out at Princeton General and that I would be out for a week or so."

House nodded his head. He hadn't believed the appendix story at the time either, but again, he was preoccupied.

"It went on like that for days. I refused any further radiation treatment on him; I couldn't stand to see him in pain like that. I demanded Wilson be brought in for a consultation and swore him to secrecy, which he had to keep because of doctor/patient confidentiality. Wilson agreed with what I already knew. Grandpa was dying. It would only be another 12 hours at the most." At this point large, hot tears rolled down her cheeks and sobs escaped freely. "I called a transport to try and take him home so that he could die in his bed. They said it would take about 8 hours until they would be able to transport him. It wasn't soon enough. Four hours later he looked over at me. I had climbed into the bed next to him. He smiled at me. Puckered his lips like he was blowing me a kiss, and died."

At this point the sobs were racking her body, she was gasping for air through her tears. House gathered her into his arms and kissed the crown of her head. She was hurting so badly and he couldn't fix it.

"How could I not know House? How could I not know that he had cancer? How could I not see how bad he was hurting?"

He rocked her back and forth soothingly.

She sniffed and wiped her tears on the back of her shirt.

"I came home and looked around and couldn't take it anymore. I opened all the doors and windows, I knew he hated being cooped up in here and all the sudden I hated being closed in. I haven't been able to keep the doors closed ever since." She buried her face in his chest and sobbed loudly.

House held her close, closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. He knew how much it had taken for her to share that with him. But at the same time he knew that this was just the tip of the ice burg…this story was just one of her symptoms, but it was not her illness.

_House knows there's more to this! He knows because he's a smart guy! Man, I wish he would have been my doctor…and not just because he's super sexy!_


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Yeah, I know. I suck at updates. But I would like to promise I will never make you wait this long again! Hugs and kisses for hanging in here with me! As usual I don't own anything, it's not mine, blah blah blah._

Cameron was back at work. It had been 2 months since she had confessed to House the secrets about her past and the guilt she carried with her everyday because of it. House had pushed for her to see a psychiatrist, much to Cameron's shock. The Psychiatrist was a sweet woman named Eva, who prescribed her a large dose of Zoloft and a small dose of Xanax to help her with her panic attacks. Cameron had started to try and work through her guilt, but it was harder than she thought. Although she was functioning, going back to work, eating dinner with House, Wilson and Cuddy every now and then, going out for a quick drink with Foreman and Chase occasionally she still didn't feel "right". She couldn't explain it and had stopped trying to make Eva, House or anyone else understand. It felt to her like she was in the ocean trudging water and just waiting for the next huge wave to pull her under.

House had gone back to his apartment; although it was not unlike him to crash at Cameron's a night or two during the week. It was the only time she would force herself to sleep in her room in her own bed. She felt safer when House was crashed on the sofa. He worried about her. He knew she wasn't feeling right but he felt like he could do nothing to help her. Their relationship had evolved into…what? He wondered. It wasn't strictly work anymore. He wasn't her care giver. He was sort of her friend. He enjoyed her company, even when she wasn't good company by others standards. He liked that most nights she would rather curl up on the couch and watch a movie or play a card game then go out. He could see that she forced herself to go out for drinks or dinner with her friends but he believed as Eva did, that she needed to get out and about.

One night they were sitting on her couch, she curled against the arm of the couch, he with his feet propped up on the coffee table when he felt her shift in her sleep. She sat up and looked at the open patio doors as if contemplating.

"House?" She asked in a small voice. "Will you close the doors? I'm cold."

He didn't question it. He immediately stood up and closed them, watching her the whole time while completely expecting her to freak out at any moment, but she didn't. Instead when he sat down she curled herself into his side, slipping an arm around his stomach. Without thought he lifted his arm and brought her closer. Her breath evened out and he knew she had fallen asleep.

"Oh, shit." He said out loud. "You are one dumb cripple, House. You are soooooo beyond stupid."

He looked at the slight pout of the woman sleeping peacefully in his arms and sat his chin on top of her head. He was feeling something that he had fought against for years. He acknowledged it for about 5 seconds. It was love. And he knew he was totally screwed.

The next morning they woke up together. She looked up at him and smiled warily.

"You ok?" House asked softly. Softly? He thought to himself. When had he ever been soft?

"Yeah." Cameron replied. "I think I might be getting a sinus infection. My ears feel clogged."

"Well. Let's get to work then. You'll have an excuse to ignore the whinny patients."

She let out a little giggle and got ready to leave. He watched her walk to the bathroom and again had a warm feeling in his chest that rose to his cheeks.

Crap.

"WILSON!" He yelled slamming his friend's office door. "This is all your fault! I thought it might be Cameron's but it's not! It's yours! You and your sentimental bullshit!"

"Ooookkkkk. Um, what exactly is my fault?"

"Feelings. Bunny feelings. I thought it was Cameron's fault but the only feelings she feels are feelings of guilt over something that she couldn't have controlled. YOU on the other hand have an assortment and they rubbed off on me!"

Wilson was internally laughing.

"What exactly are your feelings? Did you love the episode of the Young in the Restless yesterday? I'm not really following you."

"I'm feeling feelings. For Cameron."

"Oh, like a big brother or a father maybe?" Wilson had to mess with him.

House shot him a look that could have killed.

"No idiot. Like the feelings she had for me. Before I took her on the date that was actually a date and deliberately sabotaged it."

"Ohhhhh…those kind of feelings." Wilson smirked.

"Yeah, those kind of feelings. And it's an incredibly bad idea. She's going through stuff, I'm an old, bitter, cripple…You can see how this is just the worst possible senerio ever."

"Maybe not." Wilson smiled. "I mean, come on House. I know that you've held a candle for her for years and this whole thing with her has just brought you closer whether you like it or not. You know she has feelings for you. The time will never be right to start a relationship. It never is. Just jump in and see how it goes."

House bounced his cane and bit the inside of his cheek. He knew Wilson was right. Now, how was he going to get out of this mess? Oh who was he kidding? There was no way out of this.

It happened the first time that day in the ER. She was writing a note on a patients chart when she was over come with dizziness. She grasped the counter she was standing at and closed her eyes as a wave of nausea hit her.

"Dr. Cameron? Are you ok?" One of the nurses asked.

"Yes I'm fine. I've been feeling under the weather. I think it's a sinus infection. Could you call Dr. Cuddy for me?"

Cuddy came to the ER and found Cameron sitting in a chair with a sheen of sweat across her brow.

"Hi Dr. Cuddy. I was wondering if I could go home. I feel like I got run over by a truck." She laughed.

"Absolutely. Do you want me to page House? I'm sure he's around here somewhere avoiding clinic duty."

Cameron thought about it for a minute and then relented. "Yeah, you probably should. I'm dizzy and probably shouldn't drive."

"He'll be thrilled." Cuddy laughed.

Cameron carefully got up to go sign out of the ER. She picked up her pen and signed her name to the check out but noticed her signature looked wrong and awkward.

"Hm." She thought. "That's weird."

_A/N: Yeah, so my muse is back. The next time I go so long without updating, someone PM me and kick my butt. _


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Here's the next chapter! Hope you all enjoy it! Thank you so much for all the reviews, favorites and story alerts! They mean the world to me! As usual, I don't own House or anything related to it! No money made here!_

Two weeks had passed since the day Cameron had come home sick from work. House had put her on antibiotics for the sinus infection but they did not appear to be working. She continued to have headaches, a full feeling in her right ear, and the right side of her face was starting to feel numb. A week ago Cuddy came over to do a full examination and determined that it was most likely a sinus infection but set her up for a CT scan anyway. The results came back normal so Cameron continued on the antibiotics.

Cameron was lying in her bed frustrated with herself. "This is ridiculous" She thought to herself throwing the covers to the side and standing herself up carefully from the bed. Sitting herself down in the bathtub she cleaned up, determined to go into work. Although still dizzy she felt like she had taken enough time off and needed to go back to work. She was going stir crazy. Walking out into the living room she saw House snoring lightly on her couch. He woke up with a start when he heard her trip over an end table.

"What are you doing?" He asked hotly. "Trying to break the furniture?"

"Nope. Going into work." She replied.

"Are you still dizzy?"

"Yeah, but I can't stay here House! I'm going nuts! It's a damn sinus infection! I'm going in!"

"Fine. But I'm driving you in. I'm not going to be responsible for you knocking down every mail box and light post in Jersey."

Cameron stood in the ER trying to write a notation in a patients chart. Her hand wasn't working right. She could barley hold the pen in her hand. The dizziness was over coming her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to steady herself. She closed the chart and walked to her next patient's bed. She felt herself starting to sweat and the room spinning around her making her nauseous. Finally she felt herself falling to the floor into a peaceful oblivion.

House rounded the corner to check on Cameron just as she was hitting the floor. Several doctors and nurses were surrounding her trying to revive her. It seemed like slow motion to House as he threw his cane to the floor, fought his way through the observers and lowered himself to the floor near her head.

"Cameron" He said loudly with no response.

"Allison" He tried again.

She was trying to open her eyes. He slipped his hand into hers and allowed someone to help him off the floor as she was loaded onto a stretcher. He paced with the stretcher as she was taken into a trauma room. She opened her eyes for a brief minute locking her gaze with his. He noticed as her eyes jetted back and forth rapidly and trembling.

A pen light was shown in her eye and her pupils reacted normally. She grunted loudly and rolled herself half over and emptied the contents of her stomach. House wiped the vomit from the corners of her mouth with the sleeve of his shirt.

"8mg IV Zofran!" A doctor yelled.

"She's been dizzy for 2 weeks" House informed whoever was running the show. He didn't know who was giving the orders. He didn't care. All he knew was something was wrong with Allison. He was trying to run differentials in his head. Nothing came out good to him. There was no diagnosis that was minor. He didn't want to think about it.

"1mg IV Ativan" A doctor yelled.

Cameron's eyes quit shaking. She looked up at House exhausted.

"You gotta quit collapsing in the ER Ally. They aren't going to let you play here if you keep doing this."

She laughed lightly. "What the hell is wrong with me House?"

"Dunno. We'll figure it out." He kissed her forehead as she fell asleep.

He met Dr. Pearl in the hallway. House had never had a high opinion of him personally but he seemed to be a decent doctor.

"I think she has a build up of ear wax in her right ear."

"What?" House exclaimed in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? Ear wax?"

"It's that simple." Dr. Pearl shrugged. "A build up of ear wax can cause extreme dizziness and sinus symptoms.

"You're serious? Of all the dumb ass, ridiculous, off the wall diagnosis's I have heard in my life! Get out of here! Don't touch her! You're a sorry excuse for a doctor!"

Dr. Pearl scampered away. The look in House's eyes was murderous and he wanted no part of it.

House dialed his cell phone. "Foreman. Get Chase, Cuddy and Wilson and meet me in the conference room. We're going to do a differential diagnosis and we need all the big kids to play in the sand box."

Closing the phone he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He told the nurses to have Cameron transferred to a room. He bent down and rested his forehead against hers. He took a deep breath and started towards the elevator. Something told him he was not going to like the outcome of this puzzle.

_A/N: I am going to try and update tomorrow. This was kind of a filler chapter to get us where we needed to be for the differential. Happy 4__th__ of July! _


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: And here we go! Giving us a couple more clues here!_

_As always I don't own 'em. Wish I did, but I don't._

House walked into the conference room with flourish. He saw everyone waiting apprehensively around the table. Taking a deep breath he pointed to Kutner, Taub, and Thirteen. "You guys, out! Go do my clinic hours, go ogle over the babies on the 12th floor; I don't care just get out."

"Why?" Asked Taub. "If there is something wrong with Cameron we want to help."

"Because," House growled out. "This is Cameron we are talking about. Can't have the second string players on for this. I need the good ones, the ones with actual brains to play in the Super bowl."

The three made their way out huffing and puffing the whole time.

"Okay," Stated House going to his white board. "34 year old female presents with extreme dizziness, nausea, vomiting, and hearing lose in right ear. Go."

"Sinus infection." Chase spurted out.

"No but thanks for playing."

"I already treated her for a sinus infection." Cuddy stated.

"Ear infection." Foreman threw out.

"You sound like the idiot in the ER who thought she had ear wax!" House yelled. "If she had an ear infection it would have cleared up with antibiotics!"

"Not necessarily" Foreman argued. "If it's a middle ear infection antibiotics are not going to help, it will have to resolve on its own."

"10 points to the brotha! Do audiology testing. The whole panel. Leave nothing to chance" House ordered.

"I'm going to check on Cameron" Cuddy stated throwing House a sympathetic look.

Wilson had stood by silently. When everyone left he approached House cautiously.

"I know you don't want to hear this…" He started.

"Then don't tell me."

"House, you have to consider that this may be neurological. A tumor on the parietal and temporal lobe would explain a lot. The emotional turmoil, even the hearing lose."

He slammed his cane down on the table. He looked down and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"House, the Cerebellum controls the body. If she has a tumor around there, this explains everything."

"I know it does Wilson but lets just give it a day, okay?" House said quietly. "Let's just give it a day and wait for the results from the audiology testing. Girls been through enough without thinking about this."

Cameron was still half knocked out when Foreman and Chase came in with the audio equipment. They did the normal panel of testing; asking if she heard the beep in her earphones etc. Then she laid and cringed when they blew the hot air into her ear canal and thought to herself that there had to be a better way to test for middle ear infections. With the audio tests done, Chase drew some blood to be on the safe side. He joked with her that he knew at some point House would be out for her blood, might as well get it over with. She chuckled and watched as the boys left her room. She really was ok. Well, she thought she was but that might have been the Ativan talking. She started having a weird sensation in her mouth, like it was filling with water or something. She grabbed a tissue and spit into it. It was blood and a lot of it. Grabbing the steal tray on her bedside table she looked into her mouth. She had bit a large gash into her tongue. It was at that point she noticed the right side of her face was not a little numb, it was completely numb! She had chewed up her tongue and the inside of her right cheek. Hitting the nurses button frantically the only thing she could think of was "I must be dying."

_A/N Okay so as we are getting more clues here make sure you don't spoil the diagnosis for others,lol! Seriously though, the diagnosis will come out in the next 2 chapters!_


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